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• Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
  -- Walter Ke...
• I've invented salt that looks like pepper, and pepper that looks like salt, so if anyone takes the wrong one by mistake, it's all right.
  -- Colonel Lemuel Stoopnagle (Frederick Taylor)...
• Half of the people in the world are below average.
• On this site I am going to build a forty-story building to house nothing but eye doctors and opticians.
  It will be a site for sore eyes. -- Colonel Lemuel Stoopnagle (Frederick Taylor)...
• Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
• It is always best not to tell people of your troubles.
  Half of them are not interested and the other half are glad you're getting what's coming to you....
• Why shouldn't the American people take half my money from me? I took all of it from them.
• Then I began to think that it is very true which is commonly said, that the one half of the world knoweth not how the other half liveth.