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• Five people -- an Englishman, Russian, American, Frenchman and Irishman were each asked to write a book on elephants.
  Some amount of time later they had all completed their respective books....
• I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to him.
  The whole time I had the money on me---he didn't know it....
• If most people are right-handed, why are all neutrinos left-handed?
  It's a safety feature to keep kids from opening them....
• How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 -- did it take to screw in a light bulb?
  (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign....
• Krusty: I won't be coming back, kids. I got a sweet life here.
  The sea air is cleaning my lungs. The sun is toasting my pale skin a healthy brown, and most important, I learned that I don't need money to be happy....
• I take orders from one person! Me!
• How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 -- did it take to screw in a light bulb?
  (Jesse Jackson) Changing the light bulb is a partial solution at best....
• My fire was in all its glory about midnight, and, having made a bark shed to shelter me from the rain and partially dry my clothing
  I had nothing to do but look and listen and join the trees in their hymns and prayers....
• Brief History Of Linux (#12) A note from Bill Gates' second grade teache
  Billy has been having some trouble behaving in class lately....