Related:

• If it weren't for optimists, pessimists would never know how unhappy they are.
• Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoo
  there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ....
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight....
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out anyway....
• How many optimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, they're convinced that the power will come back on soon....
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either....