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If You Ever Teach A Yodeling Class, Probably The Hardest Thing Is To Keep The Students From Just Trying To Yodel Right Off.
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If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the
students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
Related:
You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests?
Just a big bag of blood. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me "the Man" is behind this.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage.
They're just not ready. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If you had a school for professional fireworks people, I don't think you could cover fuses in just one class.
It's just too rich a subject. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying.
And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did....
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...