Related:

• IF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying.
  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did....
• If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying.
  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did....
• If a small child asks you where rain comes from, I think a reasonable response is simply that "God is crying.
  And, if he asks you why God is crying, the only possible answer is "Probably because of something you did....
• A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake.
  Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help....
• If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?
  ! -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by
  and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him....
• I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky.
  Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh....
• If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say, "Okay, YOU TELL ME what's `fashionable'.
  But he won't. And you know why? Because you can't ask someone what's fashionable in a smart-alecky way like that....