Related:

• This week somebody sent a puppy to the President. The puppy was a Democrat.
  You could tell--he had his eyes open! -- Senator Claghorn (Kenny Delmar)...
• Where is an elephants sex organ? In his feet -- if he steps on you, you're fucked.
• The captain. He's a real son of the sea. He first became interested in ships when his mother approached him.
  John, your father wants you to build a boat at once," she said....
• How do you determine the sex of a computer?
• A diagnosis is what happens when the doctor tries to determine the condition of your pocketbook before he makes the determination of how sick to make you.
• How does one determine the sex of a chromosome? Take its genes off.
• Yuppie version of Twinkle Twinkle Little star: Scintillate
  cintillate, globule orific How I conjecture your nature specific Way above in the ethereal stratosphere Like a giant gem carbonaceous....
• He who refuses to listen is lying.
• If Clinton's lips are moving, he's lying.