Related:

• If your father told you he could determine the sex of a puppy by looking at the bottoms of its feet, he was lying.
• Have you heard about the man who didn't pay for his exorcism? He got re-possessed!
• Q: Have you heard about the man who didn't pay for his exorcism? A: He got re-possessed!
• He's going to step down 'til he's back on his feet.
  -- Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy Swaggart's latest sex scandal...
• A guy is standing in front of his locker at the country club admiring a golf ball he has in his hand.
  One of his golfing buddies says to him, "What'd you do, get some new golf balls?...
• You have perhaps heard the story of the four students-- British, French, American, Canadian-- who were asked to write an essay on elephants.
  The British student entitled his essay "Elephants and the Empire....
• The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.
• S-U-C-C-E-E-S! That's the way you spell succe...
  -- Bart follows the steps of his S-M-R-T fathe...
• When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.