Related:

• I got arrested for going 14400 in a 2400 zone!
• I consider the day misspent that I am not either charged with a crime, or arrested for one.
  -- "Ratsy" Tourbillo...
• Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about.
  Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's Club which is strictly for Men....
• I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. -- Emo Philip
• Oh, that bright day in the dead of night, Two dead men got up to fight.
  Three blind men to see fair play, Forty mutes to yell "Hooray"!...
• The other day I bought a wastebasket and carried it home in a paper bag.
  And when I got home I put the paper bag in the wastebasket. -- Lily Tomli...
• Ludlow Bean was arrested the other day for stealing a woman's change purse.
  He told the judge that he hadn't been feeling well, and he thought the change would do him good....
• I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
• Yesterday I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke!