Related:

• I went into the grocery store today. I said, "Give me a dollar's worth of potatoes.
  He said, "We don't slice 'em." I said, "Give me fifty cents' worth of Swiss cheese....
• I came down from Jacksonville on a train that was the slowest train I'd ever been on.
  I said to the conductor, "Can't you run any faster?...
• I went up to the salesgirl. I said, "I'd like to see something cheap in a man's suit.
  She said, "The mirror's on the left." -- Jimmy Edmondson (Professor Backwards)...
• What gets me is that estimated tax return. You have to guess how much you're gonna make.
  You have to fill it out, fix it up, sign it, send it in....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• I wish I had a brand new castle... <WHUMP> -- Famous Last Word