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• When I was a baby, I kept a diary. The first entry i
  Day One: Still tired from the move." I was upset because on my second birthday, I went from being one to being two, and my age doubled in a year....
• Man: [in his normal voice] Well, my work is done here.
  Bart: Hey, Michael, what happened to your voice? Ma...
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....
• I support everyone's right to be an idiot. I may need it myself someday.
• I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead!
  Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead!
  Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ... -- Steven Wrigh...
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• Days of my life I'd like to forget: The day the doctors told me I was sick.
  The day I had to tell my friends I was ill. The day my hair fell out....
• Baby: "Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.