Related:

• I may be fat, but you can't jog off your ugly looks.
• I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
  -- Ed Bluestone...
• For tomorrow I diet . . .
• The best advice I ever received was to buy Berkshire Hathaway (now $
  5,000 a share) at $300. Unfortunately, I ignored it....
• Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again you screwed up.
  Now all the planets are gonna start crackin' wise about our mommas....
• Those commercials about weight loss you see on television must be true.
  I heard about one lady who lost 187 pounds of ugly fat....
• Mr Churchill, you are drunk! Yea, and you're ugly. Yes, but I can have selective cosmetic and plastic surgery and I will be beautiful, whereas you will still have the disease of alcholism.
• Here I stand; I can do no otherwise. God help me. Amen!
  -- Martin Luther (1483-1546) -- Speech at the Diet of Worm...
• Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very drunk.
  Winston Churchill: Madame, you are ugly; very, very ugly. I shall be sober in the morning....