Related:

• I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. -- Stephen Wrigh
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -- Steven Wrigh
• I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.
  I hit a bookmark. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'm gonna use it. -- Steven Wrigh