Related:

• I never thought of killing myself, never, but if I did I'd want to be unique.
  Headline: "Sick comic succumbs, swallows 650 dexamine spansules....
• I was taking a course with Lionel Trilling and wrote a paper for him with an opening sentence that contained a parenthesis.
  He returned the paper with a wounding reprimand: "Never, never begin an essay with a parenthesis in the first sentence....
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I can't read anything. The light is too bad.
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle mission with one astronaut from each country.
  Since it's going to be two long, lonely years up there, each may bring any form of entertainment weighing 150 pounds or less....
• A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow.
  The time had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to catching instructions on the wing....