Related:

• I recently moved into a new apartment, and there was this switch on the wall that didn't do anything.
  .. so anytime I had nothing to do, I'd just flick that switch up and down....
• I have a switch in my apartment... it doesn't do anything.
  ... Every once in a while, I turn it on and off.......
• I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything.
  Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• I woke up one morning and looked around the room. Something wasn't right.
  I realized that someone had broken in the night before and replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica....
• I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
  I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica....
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....