Related:

• I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses .
• I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses .
  .. -- Dave Barry, The Wet Zorro Suit and Other Turning Points in l'Amou...
• What are you wearing around your neck? Ah. It's my new ruff.
  You look like a bird who's swallowed a plate. It's the latest fashion, actually, and as a matter of fact it makes me look _rather sexy_....
• Teacher: Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson? Bart: I don't like wearing tights, ma'am.
  Teacher: But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and....
• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
• I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
• Remember, peasants, it's not a disgrace to be poor, only to dress like it!
  -- Zorro, the Gay Blade...