Related:

• I was perfect--and then my parents got hold of me.
• In high school my parents told me I ran with the wrong crowd. I was a loner. -- Jeff Shaw
• I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. -- Woody Alle
• I was a war baby. My parents took a look at me and started fighting.
• As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
  One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly useful and interesting, I just had to share it....
• Homer: Where do you think you're going? Lisa: To the game.
  Homer: No no no. I don't want you to see me sit on my worthless butt....
• Homer: Son, there's only one thing punks like that understand
  squealing. You've got to squeal to every teacher and every grown-up you can find....
• Growing up, I was a little guy. My father enrolled me in a local martial arts academy.
  So once a week I got beat up in a more formal setting. -- Jonathan Katz...
• Bart: Can I come to the candy show, huh, huh? Can I, can I?
  Huh, huh, huh? Can I? Can I? Lisa: No, me!...