Related:

• I have just learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
  First, let her think she's having her way. And second, let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnso...
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Joan: She must think you're after her eggs. Krusty: I only ate one! -- "Marge Gets a Job
• I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink.
  That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. -- W. C. Field...
• Once at a dinner party when he was a young man, Winston Churchill, who at the time had a moustache, was seated next to an older woman.
  She said to him, "Young man, I care neither for your politics nor for your moustache....
• Philadelphia was a gay, lighthearted town. Anyone found smiling after the curfew rang was liable to be arrested.
  If a woman dropped her glove on a street, she might be hauled before a judge for stripteasing....
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• hat was the first thing I had to learn about her, and maybe the hardest I've ever learned about anything--that she is her ow
  and what she gives me is of her choosing, and the more precious because of it....