Related:

• They told me to get a life -- I got a computer instead.
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• My Mom always told me that sex was a dirty, ugly, horrible thing that I was only to do with someone I loved.
• Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was her dad's.
  Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains....
• When I first became a manager, I asked Chuck [Tanner] for advice.
  He told me, "Always rent." -- Tony Larussa...
• Homer: He _spanked_ you? _You_? Bart Simpson? Ba
  I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation....
• Whenever I was upset by something in the papers, [Jack] always told me to be more tolerant, like a horse flicking away flies in the summer.
  -- Jacqueline Kennedy...
• They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
• They told me I was gullible...and I believed them!