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• I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need.
  If I die tomorrow. -- Henny Youngma...
• My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head, My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry
  And I shall love thee still, my dear, Until my wife is wise. -- Love's Drug...
• Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head
  My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry...
• If naebody care for me, I 'll care for naebody.
  -- Robert Burns (1759-1796) -- I hae a Wife o' my Ai...
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• I take my wife everywhere...but she keeps coming back.
• I gave up on my wife, and married my computer.
• My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell till I married her. -- Hal Roach