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• I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock. -- Henny Youngma
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngma
• While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -- Henny Youngma
• I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.
  They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.
  They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. -- Steven Wrigh
• My parents went to Bajor and all I got was this lousy tagline.
• My parents went to Niagara Falls and all I got was this crummy life.