Related:

• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• I won! I won!
• It's a Wonderful Life I suppose it'd been better if I'd never been born at all. --Jimmy Stewa
• Twelve years ago I was a boy, A happy boy at Drury's.
  -- W. M. Praed (1802-1839) -- School and Schoolfellow...
• A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after 35.
  I said 35 children is enough for any woman! -- Gracie Alle...
• My mother told me, "Elwood,"--she always called me "Elwood"--"in this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.
  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant....
• Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what I need to be happy, and it's not friends, it's things.
  Fry...
• I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
  -- Steven Wrigh...