Related:

• How did you spend the weekend?" asked the pretty brunette secretary of her blonde companion.
  "Fishing through the ice," she replied. "Fishing through the ice? Whatever for?" "Olives....
• That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in a bar.
  "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been she said she'd spent the night with her sister Shirley....
• Well I know where she come from but I don't know what's her name.
• Am I dying or is this my birthday?" (When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
  ) ~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964...
• I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.
  She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today....
• Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving.
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch For Rocks.
  Marta said it should read "Watch For PRETTY Rocks....
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....