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• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• I often daydream about my inability to fantasize.
• I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one.
  It wasn't doing what I was doing. I tried to DRAW my shadow once, but I couldn't ....
• My views on evolution? I think Darwin was adopted. -- Steven Wright.
• I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....