Related:

• I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one -- it wasn't doing what I was doing.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow. -- Steven Wrigh
• I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
  ..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....
• I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking pot I didn't know what I was doing.
  I smoked half the joint, got the munchies, and ate the other half....
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -- Steven Wrigh
• I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights.
  Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I had amnesia once or twice. -- Steven Wrigh
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....