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• I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need.
  If I die tomorrow. -- Henny Youngma...
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngma
• While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -- Henny Youngma
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• If naebody care for me, I 'll care for naebody.
  -- Robert Burns (1759-1796) -- I hae a Wife o' my Ai...
• Good Eats, Good Friends and Money. That's all I need.
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS?? Oh, YEH!! First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O and a BIG WRENCH!
  ! ... I think you drop th' WRENCH in the JELL-O as if it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT ....