Related:

• If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.
  -- Denys Parso...
• A place you want to get to is always just off the edge of the map you happen to have handy.
  -- Denys Parso...
• There is no such thing as a convenient time for a meeting and there is no such thing as a meeting which lasts no longer than it should.
  In theory, the very finest meeting is one which moves along so fast that it is finished before it starts....
• A piece of electronic equipment is housed in a beautifully designed cabinet, and at the side or on top is a little box containing the components which the designer forgot to make room for.
  -- Denys Parso...
• How many people at a London Vegans meeting -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  All thirty. Well, actually it's only one, but he has to wait at least half an hour while the others read out all the announcements....
• The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.
  -- G. Robert McLaughli...
• How many tight gits -- does it take to change a light bulb ?
  Two. One to change it, and one to complain that even after all these technical advances, a light bulb still only lasts 1000 hours....
• How many [trying to think of it] -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  ????. One to change it, ???? to ????, and one to complain that even after all these technical advances, a light bulb still only lasts 1000 hours....
• A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.