Related:

• When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.
  I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• How tall was King Kong?" -- The Stuntma
• Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.
  Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school....
• Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
  Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
• Marge: Now, I know we love the puppies very much, but I think they're getting to be a problem.
  Bart: Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear Lisa's to school today....
• When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.
  I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now....
• Bart: People, people! It's time we all discussed the pool safety rules!
  Kids: [chanting] Jump, Bart, jump! Jump, Bart, jump!...
• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....