Related:

• WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published one book.
  2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals....
• CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
  The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden....
• Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed.
  At this time, said Nasrudin, I only want to say that the King spoke to me....
• Five milliseconds after beginning to chew a mouthful of food, the waiter will arrive and ask if it tastes OK.
  He will be unable to interpret hasty nods of the head, thumbs-up gestures, or words from your spouse, and will wait, staring at you like a stunned ox, until you have chewed, swallowed, and allayed his fears yourself...
• Bart: Hymns, here! I got hymns, here. Get 'em while they're holy.
  Fresh from God's brain to your mouth. Heh heh heh....
• Yet man dies not while the world, at once his mother and his monument, remains.
  His name is forgotten, indeed, but the breath he breathed yet stirs the pine-tops on the mountains, the sound of the words he spoke yet echoes on through space...