Related:

• Forget about the question of just who wears the trousers in your household.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Accuse fun-run organisers of discrimination. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Ask your cosmetics company if they have any make-up that is waterproof and not tested on laboratory fish.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy a goldfish bowl and fill it up. Stick your head in it for practice.
  The goldfish are optional. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Tell all your friends to get swimming pools in case you want to visit.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Go in a sack race. It'll be good practice. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.