Related:

• Buy a goldfish bowl and fill it up. Stick your head in it for practice.
  The goldfish are optional. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Forget about the question of just who wears the trousers in your household.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Make a small scene outside a seafood restaurant. Accuse them of sauteeing your best friend.
  Glare at everyone who comes out. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Trade in your Harley-Davidson for a motor scooter. That way you won't have to make a choice about whether you get to change gears, or use the brakes.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Drink like a fish. Try to get legless. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Talk to fish. Sooner or later, they will talk back.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Tell all your friends to get swimming pools in case you want to visit.
  -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Go in a sack race. It'll be good practice. -- More things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.