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• My girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.
• So I said to my boyfriend, Don't be a fool! We'll take the million!
• My ex-boyfriend's a cat lover. I sent him a Kzin for his birthday.
• My girlfriend got crabs so I bought her fishnet stockings.
• Lisa: I like him! He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance -- Home
  [walking by] My ears are burning. Lisa: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad....
• Windows: If I'd *wanted* a Mac, I would have *bought* one!
• My computer's getting jealous... of the time I spend with my boyfriend.
• I never know what to get my father for his birthday.
  I gave him a hundred dollars and said, "Buy yourself something that will make your life easier....
• The passionate young thing was having a difficult time getting across what she wanted from her rather dense boyfriend.
  Finally she asked, "Would you like to see where I was operated on for appendicitis?...