Related:

• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• Why? Hasn't Bob had his shots?!
• My father's great dread was going senile, said one aristocrat, apologizing for his father, who was happily exposing himself in the orangery.
  But now he has, he's enjoying himself enormously. -- Jilly Coope...
• Cthulhu calls his shots.
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• If he had half a brain, his ass would be lopsided.