Related:

• This guy sitting in the plane is joined by his seatmate, who begins immediately to heave gigantic, obviously depressed sighs.
  --"What's the problem, are you ill?" --"No, I'm going to Miami (or L....
• A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane
  ealized that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip.
  He took a seat next to a hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of the world....
• Zweig: Er, Marge, this may not be the best time to bring this up, but, uh, your last check bounced.
  Marge: Wait, I'm remembering something. Zweig: Yes, Marge, there's still the matter of -- Marge...
• Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
• MVS AIRLINES The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft.
  This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers....
• A statistician refuses to fly after reading the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane.
  Later he finds that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low....
• Ask them who they'd prefer to meet - Squadron Commander Flasheart or the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen and they'll go for Wee Jock Poo Pong McPlop every time.
  .. -- Edmund : Private Plane...