Related:

• My notion of a husband at forty is that a woman should be able to change him, like a bank note, for two twenties.
• Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend.
• My wife--God bless her--was in labor for thirty-two hours.
  And I was faithful to her the entire time. -- Jonathan Katz...
• ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE ======================== CAR and CDR now return extra values.
  The function CAR now returns two values. Since it has to go to the trouble to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as well get both halves at once....
• Ned: Howdily doodily, there, President Bush -- or should I say, "President Neighbor"!
  I'm Ned Flanders, and this is Maude, Rod, and Todd....
• We delivered our child via natural childbirth, the procedure invented by a man named Lamaze--the Marquis de Lamaze, a disciple of Dr.
  Josef Mengele, who concluded that women could counteract the incredible pain of childbirth through breathing....
• A woman past 40 should make up her mind to be young, not her face. -- Billie Burke
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.
  After he'd given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later....