Related:

• Homer: [chuckles] This is going to be sweet. Two hundred bottle rockets and George Bush doing toe touches by an open window!
  Bart: You get one up his butt, it's a million points....
• Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables? Todd
  Hell, no! Ned+Maude+Rod: [gasp!] Maude: What did you say?...
• Maude: What brings you to Springfield? Barbara: Well, George and I just wanted to be private citizens again -- go where nobody cared about politics.
  So we found the town with the lowest voter turnout in America....
• Ned: My name is Ned. All: Hello, Ned! Ned: It's been 4,000 days since my last drink.
  It was my first -- and last -- blackberry schnapps....
• Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely. Phone: Greetings, friends.
  Do you wish to look... Ned: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again....
• Abe: Boy, you borrow us some diving equipment while I borrow this boat.
  [starts sawing the anchor] Ned...
• Marge: [checks her watch] One more hour. Homer: An hour?
  I can't wait another hour. What's keeping that stupid comet?...
• Ray: [scrutinizing Ned's license] And your business here, Mr.
  Flanders? Ned: Well, sir, I'm welcoming the Bushes on behalf of the Neighborhood Association....
• Ned: Jeepers H. Crackers. I'd better call the Reverend.
  [pushes "Rev. Lovejoy" button on phone] [the Rev is playing with a train set] Mrs....