We delivered our child via natural childbirth, the procedure invented by a
man named Lamaze--the Marquis de Lamaze, a disciple of Dr. Josef Mengele,
who concluded that women could counteract the incredible pain of childbirth
through breathing. I think we can all agree that breathing is a reasonable
substitute for anesthesia. That's like asking a man to tolerate a vasectomy
by hyperventilating.
Lamaze expects the husband--me--to be there, so that I can witness this
festivity. I did not want to be there. This was remarkably painful for my
wife. There was nothing my presence could really do to relieve her pain. In
other words, I didn't see why my evening should be ruined too.
-- Dennis Wolfberg
