Related:

• In many if not most elections, the consequences come to about the same result as two bald men fighting over a comb.
  Whichever one gets elected is going to commission the design of a new comb, and it is going to be expensive....
• Why did the Clintons send Chelsea to a private school?
  The secret service would be out-gunned at a public school....
• The following is a letter to the editor of the Roseville Gazette.
  "Despite opposition from some residents of West Roseville, the arguments in favor of merging the townships of Roseville and West Roseville are overwhelming....
• Scott: "Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children.
  They want everything right now, and they want it their way....
• If a can of Alpo costs 38 cents, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?
• Did you hear about the freshman coed who decided not to sign up for a course in sex education when she heard the final exam would be oral.
• It's rumored that Alcoholics Anonymous may sponsor a spin-off group to be called Cocksmen Confidential.
  The new organization would, of course, address itself to the problem of habitual drinking....
• That would make an excellent mini-golf course.
• If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.