Related:

• My first basename is George "Catfish" Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh Pirates team, which lost 112 games.
  After a terrible series against the New York Giants, in which our center fielder made three throwing errors and let two balls get through his legs, manager Billy Meyer pleaded, "Can somebody think of something to help us win a game?...
• Have you heard of the new "morning after" pill being developed as a replacement for RU-486?
  It's called RU-Pentium. It causes the embryo to not divide correctly....
• We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)...
• Boxing is the only sport in the world where two men get paid for doing something to each other that if they did otherwise
  hey would get arrested for doing, particularly if one or both of them had been drinking beforehand....
• Not enough mail??? Here, let me help.
• Lisa: Dad, look! [holds TV up] Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, [lusty] secret lover.
  Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading -- rising!...
• Moe: Are you man enough to test every one of your limits?
  Homer: Yes. Moe: And are you man enough to throw a punch should the opportunity arise?...
• Often enough, television is just one vacuum tube watching another.
• Torvil & Dean knows how the USA boxing team felt in Korea.