Related:

• You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine.
  This is the nineties. You know what to do. -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...
• Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions.
  But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• You have reached 555-6238. Why? -- Answering machine madness - brevity
• This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence.
  I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream....