Related:

• So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free.
  -- Homer Simpson Bart vs. Australia...
• Why didn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and it's down a chimney.
• Why did the LDS couple stop after three children? Because they read that every fourth child born is Chinese.
• Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.
  -- New Testament -- Matthew ii, 18; Jeremiah xxxi, 15...
• I want to be a veterinarian because I love children.
• Children are to be won to follow liberal studies by exhortations and rational motives, and on no account to be forced thereto by whipping.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Of the Training of Childre...
• Mrs.K: Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather. Van Houte
  Uh, how many of you have a house? [children raise their hands] Van Houte...
• I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children?
  Well, she and I were. -- Mort Sahl...