Related:

• NEWT One of those really small beasties that annoys little kids because they're too small to step on.
  I dunno though - if you were flying along and got caught in the downward air-draught of a descending foot, it'd do serious damage, wouldn't it?...
• HOLY Something containing a lot of holes, such as the Bible.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA I'M going to get struck down for that one, aren't I?...
• INJECTION Medical procedure especially developed to scare the shit out of the patient, and give the doctor a feeling of power.
  Just sit very still, Mr Jones, while I stick this bloody great needle in you....
• HANDKERCHIEF A piece of cloth designed specifically to be filled with snot.
  Which must rather irritate it. I mean, I'm sure that you'd be pretty pissed off if you had only come into existence to be wiped on people's noses....
• ZIP Object placed in clothing, designed to get stuck at the most inconvenient and/or embarrassing times.
  When placed in men's trousers, the humble zip can be lethal, or at least very painful....
• KETTLE Device designed to heat up water, whistle just too quietly for you to hear when it's finished, boil dry, explode and burn your house down.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• FINE Term used by weathermen when they don't really know what it's going to be like.
  Of course, if the rest of us made as many mistakes in our jobs as weathermen do in theirs, the entire world would be a disaster area....
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...