Related:

• Throw out your Walkman. Face it, you only ever used the thing when you went jogging, didn't you?
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Buy your chiropodist a farewell present. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.