Related:

• A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
  -- Marjorie Kinnan Rawling...
• She was asking her insurance agent: 'If I were to take out a $
  250,000 insurance policy on my husband and he should die the next day, what would I get?...
• I knew she was gone 'cuz, I ran out of beer.
• How many rec.humor.funny readers -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought....
• My sister's a Vassar graduate. Super-sophisticate. She used to drive with her legs crossed.
  -- Ed Bluestone...
• I know a girl who broke every date she had--she went out with them. -- Bob Melvi
• Bart: OK, here's how it goes: I'm the leader, Milhouse is my loyal sidekick, Nelson's the tough guy, Martin's the smart guy, and Todd's the quiet religious guy who ends up going crazy.
  And now, the time has come to cross this line into mystery and danger -- to step out of childhood and become men....
• Although it is a gloomy view to suppose that life will die out, sometimes when I contemplate the things that people do with their lives I think it is almost a consolation.
  -- Bertrand Russell...
• Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
  Now I want you to straighten this out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo- jumbo!...