Related:

• She said I should think of her like a sister. I said I did, but not my sister.
• The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money. -- Ed Bluestone
• Maude: She's murdered her brother! Lenny: And she's trying to dump the body in the harbor!
  Otto: Well, duh! Mel: And, as a grim finale, she intends to drown that poor caged baby!...
• Lisa: [shielding her eyes from the light; wobbly] What's happening?
  Where am I?? Helen: And she's on drugs!...
• Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
  Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her? -- "Selma's Choice...
• I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket because it saves me lots of money .
  .. Every time my wife sticks her hand in she thinks it's a mouse. -- "Senator" Ed Ford...
• o the tune of the Colonel Bogey March] Lisa, her teeth are big and green.
  Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, da da da Disa....
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• She's got a few bad sectors in her hard drive.