Related:

• Grandpa Charnock's Law: You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  [I thought it was when your kids learned to drive. Ed.]...
• There are a lot of drunk people about to drive home, so drive as fast as you can.
  It's harder for drunk people to hit you....
• Why drive a Volkswagen when you can have a Rolls Royce?
• Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....
• Format all 10? But I can only fit 3 in the drive at once!!
• When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why you stupid, stupid bastard!
  Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life....
• Troy: [surprised in disgust] Uh... Hello, beautiful!
  John Law tells me I might need to wear these glasses....