Related:

• There are two groups of people in the world now. Those that get pathetically drunk in public--and the rest of us poor bastards who are expected to drive these pinheads home.
  -- Dennis Mille...
• You can learn a lot about people by their luggage.
• Some people have a lot of vanity. They say, "I only wear glasses when I drive.
  If you only need glasses when you drive, then drive around with a prescription windshield!...
• You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
• You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
• Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I _am_ slow. Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better.
  Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor? Marge: There's that....
• It's not how hard it rains but how fast you drive.
• You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace.
  It's unpleasantly like being drunk. What's so unpleasant about being drunk?...
• You can learn a lot about people by their wallet. -- Daniel Will-Harri