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• There was once a professor of law who said to his stude
  When you are fighting a case, if you have facts on your side hammer them into the jury, and if you have the law on your side hammer it into the judge....
• Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: (1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit (2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh
  hose Santraginean fish!) (3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost....
• I went into the grocery store today. I said, "Give me a dollar's worth of potatoes.
  He said, "We don't slice 'em." I said, "Give me fifty cents' worth of Swiss cheese....
• Seven years and six months!" Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully.
  "An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have said 'Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now....
• Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically- carbonated Cassanova.
  Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic....
• Brief History Of Linux (#19) Boy meets operating system The young Linus Torvalds might have been just another CompSci student if it wasn't for his experiences in the Univ.
  of Helsinki's Fall 1990 Unix & C course. During one class, the professor experienced difficulty getting Minix to work properly on a Sun box....
• Israel today announced that it is giving up. The Zionist state will dissolve in two weeks time, and its citizens will disperse to various resort communities around the world.
  Said Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, 'Who needs the aggravation?...