Related:

• Remember, only YOU can start Barney fires.
• Twas the night before Christmas -- the very last one -- When the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.
  Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh, A satellite spotted him making his way....
• It seems to me the uses of tobacco aren't obvious right off the bat .
  .. You can shred it up and put it on a piece of paper and roll it up ....
• There's always one guy who tries to impress you with how big a joint he can roll.
  The guy takes the Sunday Times, drops a kilo brick in with the strings on it ....
• Sincerity is often the measure of your adaptability to adjust to the opinions of those who can fire you.
  -- John Francis Putnam (1964)...
• Unobfuscated Perl (#2) A rogue group of Perl hackers has presented a plan to add a "use really_goddamn_strict" pragma that would enforce readability and UNobfuscation.
  With this pragma in force, the Perl compiler might say...
• Smokey the Bear says, "Only you can prevent forest fires.
• One of the first things you learn when the kids start to use the car is how far you can drive when the gas guage stands on empty.
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....