Related:

• I love old Chappers. Don't you, Captain? Unfortunately, no.
  I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck....
• George, the day the war began I was cheesed off. Within ten minutes of you arriving, I'd finished the cheese and moved on to the coffee and cigars.
  -- Edmund : Major Sta...
• You mustn't do that to me, sir, because that...is a borgeious act of repression, sir.
  .....What? -- Baldrick and Edmund : Major Sta...
• Take a telegram. To: Mr C.Chaplin, Senate Studios, Hollywood, California.
  Message reads: Congrats stop Have found only person in world less funny than you stop Name Baldrick stop -- Edmund...
• Well done, Bladder. How can I ever thank you? Well, you can start by not calling me 'Bladder', sir.
  -- George and Edmund : Sense and Senility...
• It was like the time I stapled bologna to my face...
• Edmund! Oh, Edmund, I've awaited your return! And thank God you did, for I was just thinking.
  ..'My God, I die in twelve hours. What I really need right now is a hug from a complete _prat_....
• Why on earth would an anarchist possibly want to kill you?
  I think it might have been _you_ he was after, sir....
• I thank God I wore my corset, because I think my sides have split. -- Edmund to Melchett : Money