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• Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder.
  Harpo my boy," he said, "I'm going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should always remember....
• Days of my life I'd like to forget: The day the doctors told me I was sick.
  The day I had to tell my friends I was ill. The day my hair fell out....
• Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college student remembers five years after he or she's out of school .
  .. Say, if you want to take Spanish, what I teach you is "Como esta usted....
• Though I'd been taught at our dining room table about the solar system and knew the earth revolved around the su
  and our moon around us, I never found out the moon didn't come up in the west until I was a writer and Herschel Brickell, the literary critic, told me after I misplaced it in a story....
• Kirk: "How could you vouch for me? That's an arrogant presumption.
  Spock: "My father requested that I open nego--" Kirk...
• You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than sue
  Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -- Pray, how did you manage to do it?...
• Mad Programmer Commits Suicide KENNETT, MO -- For two years Doug Carter toiled away in his basement computer lab working on his own 'Dougnix' operating system.
  Apparently he was sick of Windows 95 so he decided to create his own OS, based loosely on Unix....
• The best advice I ever received was back in 1958 when I was playing the piano in a bar on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.
  C. A congressman came up to me and said, "Kid, stop singing `Stardust' and start singing about Congress....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....